Monday, April 25, 2011

The challenges you need to go through as a first time mother

Posted by Esh's Haven at 4:19 AM
A few years back, I still have some questions in mind such as what it feels like to become a first time mother, or the exact feeling of a girl who became a first time mom at a young age, like those girls who became pregnant during their teenage years. In this entry, I’m going to share with you guys the challenges I’ve faced for being a first time mom a couple of years back, and up to this very day.

Before, I thought becoming a mother will be that easy. And all I imagined was something like “I really want to have a daughter, a “mini me” something to that effect. I want to dress her up, or see her with those cute little outfits, and I want to give her all the cute stuffs or toys I’ve seen on the store. These were all the things I had in mind when I was still single.

Nevertheless, when I became a first time mother, everything has changed dramatically since it unveiled the reality of what exactly life is, and it actually taught me the real meaning of what motherhood is all about. I am a young mom myself, and I had my first baby in my early 20’s. However, when I had her, I could honestly say that I’m ready to embrace motherhood already even if I’m still young then. I remembered back then how my mom would remind me almost every single day on how hard it is to become a mom, and I was like “don’t worry mom I can handle this and I will do everything I can just to be the best mother for my child,” since I thought everything will be smooth and I can manage everything.

I’m just very thankful to my mother for the advices and all the things she imparted just to guide me in my journey through motherhood. And as we all know, mother knows best, that’s why I could say, what she had taught me through the years in terms of pregnancy, and as well as raising my daughter were really the best information I got than what were written in the books I’ve read.


At times, when we were still young, we have this mind-set that the hardest part of being a mother was the pregnancy stage. When you carry your child in your womb for 9 months, and when you have to experience all those annoying signs and symptoms such as the morning sickness, the mood swings, the loss of appetite, constipation, and so on. But once you gave birth, we think that everything is manageable or everything is easy as 123, since we believe we already passed the toughest part of being a first time mother. However, the challenges won’t end there since it is still the beginning of our journey. And this thing was exactly I believed in, a few years back when I finally gave birth, but after a couple of months, I realized the truth was exactly the opposite of what I used to believe in, there were still few rough roads that I need to pass through. Nevertheless, those challenges were very necessary for me to become the best mom that I can be and even if it sounds ironic, those challenges I went through really helped me to appreciate motherhood more.


Furthermore, once you gave birth, one of the biggest responsibilities in your life takes place, and that is to make sure that you’ll the best mother to your child. You’ll now focus on the welfare of your child. You’ll also say goodbye to some of the things you used to do when you still have a single status since the top of your list now won’t be shopping or going to the salon with your friends, or go bar hopping with them, but your main priority now is your child, and how you could give her all the best things that this world has to offer.


Nevertheless, motherhood doesn’t necessarily mean your life would be boring since I have mentioned above that there will be some changes when it comes to your priorities in life, and there will be a lot of adjustments in life, and I totally understand that it’s just so hard to adjust on things, especially if you’re already used to all those stuffs, and it is indeed really hard to let go of the things that you enjoy doing. However, the key here is that you have to be ready emotionally, psychologically, and physically before you enter motherhood. You should be ready in these aspects so that you’ll be more willing to sacrifice things. And you also have to ensure that your partner is also ready in those 3 aspects and in financial aspect as well. You have to make sure that both of you have already anticipated if what are the parents’ responsibilities to their child, so that both of you won’t be overwhelmed with those responsibilities once you entered parenthood and married life.


Well, in my case, even though I became a first time mom at a young age, there were no regrets at all. Since I entered motherhood when I felt that I was ready, and I believed that I already made the most out of my single status. Enjoying your life while you’re single is very important, so that there will be no regrets on your part in the long run, once you’ve decided to tie the knot with your chosen partner. And not to mention, you’ll no longer tell yourself that if you could just turn back time, you will correct the mistake you’ve made, and you’ll make sure that you are just going to walk down the aisle, once you’ve made the most out of your single life and when you’re completely ready.


Moreover, as a first time mother, I really had a hard time adjusting to the new chapter in my life back then since everything was all new to me. There was this one time, when I just gave birth to my daughter, I had no idea at all on how to stop her from crying. I fed her and all since I thought she was just hungry or something.  I did everything I can just to stop her from crying out loud, but still nothing happens. I was really in tears as well while cuddling her, since I thought there was something wrong, if she’s in pain or whatsoever. This is really the hardest thing when taking care of a baby who is below one year old or when your child wasn’t able to express what they actually feel. Back then, it really broke my heart every time I saw her crying when I knew there was really something wrong but I couldn’t do a single thing for her as soon as I can, since I had a hard time figuring it out. And I’m really freaking out every time she was not feeling well or even if she was just having a slight fever.


Becoming a first time mother is not an easy task and it is indeed the toughest job in the world I must say. Nonetheless, it is the most fulfilling thing on earth. Once you felt and seen you’ve done an amazing job of raising your child, it would be the most wonderful feeling you could ever felt in your lifetime. Right now, my daughter is already 4 years old and I just realized how fast time flies. There are still little things I need to work on such as the best strategies for her to eat her healthy meal since all she wants to eat is fried chicken, *lol* and seriously, at times I ran out of idea on how to make her eat those healthy stuffs I prepared for her. And I believe that having a hard time feeding your child with healthy food during this age is normally most mothers would experience.


To top it all off, being a first time mom won’t be as easy as 123, but the joy that you’ve felt and the joy that you’re daughter is giving you is just so overwhelming. The happiness you felt once you’ve become a mom is indeed indescribable and absolutely beyond words.

However, I would say this with conviction, motherhood really requires a higher level of maturity. I need to emphasize maturity since I have read somewhere on the web, that a lot of teenagers would want to be mothers at a tender age, which is very alarming. We have to always bear in mind that there is always a right time for everything. Becoming pregnant at an early age is very unhealthy both on the mother and the unborn child, since they are still in the puberty stage. Just always be in the right track, do the things that you know in your hearts are right, and everything will fall into place. Just enjoy your youth, and don’t rush things.


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