The not so wonderful life of mine

It's exactly 3:06 AM right now, but still, I don't wanna go to bed yet. There are still a lot of things going on with my mind right now that keeps me awake even at 3 o'clock in the morning. Yes, I'm very sad, very hurt and really don't know what to do with my life right now. In fact, I'm teary-eyed while writing this post. Why do I feel this thing? Simply because there were a lot of things happened the past years. I had no idea back then that my life would be such a mess and I would end up like this. I have went through a lot ever since I was 7 years old. Life for me back then wasn't that easy for me to handle. School, friends, family, everything was really hard to handle.

Even at such a tender age, I already have an idea if what's the reality of life, like there are a lot of people out there that would take advantage of you and your weaknesses. At an early age, I already have faced trials that even my parents were unaware of. I'm not the kind of kid back then, that would make "sumbong" to my parents or to my uncles once there were something going on in school, since I'm the type of kid that would rather keep everything to myself, than telling it to my family of what were actually happening with me, or what I'm going through at that very moment. I'm very secretive and as much possible, I would not want my family to know what were my problems, since I want to solve them on my own and I don't have the enough courage to confide all my problems to the people closest to my heart.

Up to this very day, I'm still like that. I'm still the same person several years back, nothing has changed. The same person that would rather cry alone, than sharing my problems with people or with my family. And until this very day, my family has no idea what I went through, and the pain I have felt.

Nevertheless, I have to admit that I'm getting tired already in facing those battles all by myself. I need someone or a friend that would cry along with me, and would totally understand me. But sad to say, I don't know if there's someone out there that I could turn to. If there's a person that would be very much willing to listen to all my grievances, and would utter some encouraging words that I badly need at this very moment.