Dear Lord God....

Dear Lord God,

You are really aware that these past days I’m not really feeling well. That’s why I even went to the doctor last Wednesday, and gladly, my cbc is normal. But you really know that the thing that scares me most is my neck lymph nodes, which the doctor checked them and said that the reason why I have them is mainly because of viral infection, and there’s no reason for me to get worried.

However, every time I read articles on the web regarding neck lymph nodes, I just can’t help myself but to be frightened about it. And yesterday, I’m really scared since I’ve watched something on boob tube that really makes me frightened.

Lord Jesus Christ, through the years, you were the only one who has seen some of my sufferings in life that even my closest friends and even my family weren’t aware of. But during those times, I haven’t felt that I am alone since you were always there who gave me love and wisdom on how would I’d be able to resolve all of them.

Lord Jesus Christ, I’m going through something tough right now, but I really don’t know how to solve it since it is regarding my health and you are the only one who has the power to heal me. You know Lord God that these past weeks, I’m not really feeling well. I’m really scared about these lymph nodes that I have right now, and not to mention, I have headaches too.  

Lord Jesus Christ, Please let me feel your love and please hug me Lord God, for me to feel that I don’t have to worry anymore since you’ll not leave me. I’m still too young and I want to live for my family and most especially for my baby, which I do love more than anything in this world. I want to take care of her, love her, and be the best mother that I could be for her. I want to grow old, and be with my daughter. Please Lord, let me experience those wonderful things, and that’s all I’m asking from you Lord God. Please heal me. Please take those lymph nodes or lumps away from my body. I hope Lord Jesus that I won't suffer anymore headaches since it makes me worry a lot.

Please Lord Jesus, make me feel that there’s nothing to worry about by giving me a sign that every thing is okay and that I'm perfectly healthy....Please dear God...

The not so wonderful life of mine

It's exactly 3:06 AM right now, but still, I don't wanna go to bed yet. There are still a lot of things going on with my mind right now that keeps me awake even at 3 o'clock in the morning. Yes, I'm very sad, very hurt and really don't know what to do with my life right now. In fact, I'm teary-eyed while writing this post. Why do I feel this thing? Simply because there were a lot of things happened the past years. I had no idea back then that my life would be such a mess and I would end up like this. I have went through a lot ever since I was 7 years old. Life for me back then wasn't that easy for me to handle. School, friends, family, everything was really hard to handle.

Even at such a tender age, I already have an idea if what's the reality of life, like there are a lot of people out there that would take advantage of you and your weaknesses. At an early age, I already have faced trials that even my parents were unaware of. I'm not the kind of kid back then, that would make "sumbong" to my parents or to my uncles once there were something going on in school, since I'm the type of kid that would rather keep everything to myself, than telling it to my family of what were actually happening with me, or what I'm going through at that very moment. I'm very secretive and as much possible, I would not want my family to know what were my problems, since I want to solve them on my own and I don't have the enough courage to confide all my problems to the people closest to my heart.

Up to this very day, I'm still like that. I'm still the same person several years back, nothing has changed. The same person that would rather cry alone, than sharing my problems with people or with my family. And until this very day, my family has no idea what I went through, and the pain I have felt.

Nevertheless, I have to admit that I'm getting tired already in facing those battles all by myself. I need someone or a friend that would cry along with me, and would totally understand me. But sad to say, I don't know if there's someone out there that I could turn to. If there's a person that would be very much willing to listen to all my grievances, and would utter some encouraging words that I badly need at this very moment.

My very first payment from Blogtoprofit

I'm just so glad that I received my very first payment from Blogtoprofit a few days ago. It is from the tasks I finished a couple of weeks ago. So, here's the screen shot:

What's good about them is that, they pay weekly so you don't need to wait that long to be paid. I'm very much hoping to receive more tasks from them in the coming days. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.