I'm just so sad today since I failed for the second time.

I'm just so sad today when I saw one of the statuses of my co-worker. She is just so happy since she's already an IC. And after I read that, I just felt if I worked hard would I'd be able to reach that one as well. For the second time I failed. Maybe there's something wrong with me. I just felt that I'm not really good or smart enough. Looking back, I know that I have mistakes and my heart wasn't really into it. I'm not really focused on my work. So, look at what happened. I do have regrets again. For the second time I missed the opportunity that was given to me. This particular thing is definitely an eye-opener for me. I should change my attitudes towards work.

At this very moment, all I just want to say to myself is " for heaven sake, you need to work very hard now since in a few months time, your daughter will be going to school already! How would you be able to sustain her needs, and how would you be able to give her a brighter future if you're always like that!"

Lord please do help me as well since I don't have the enough courage and strength to face all the hardships in life, like the challenges at work. Please give me the enough strength that I needed.

Lord, please," parang di ko na kaya 'to". Please reveal the things that I should need to do in order for me to have that "day job" that I badly need at this very moment. And most of all, forgive me if I fail the second time around since I have mistakes as well. I didn't give importance to the opportunities that were given to me. But I need to move on now, and I should not dwell on the negative things that happened to me. But rather focus on finding another one and to correct all the mistakes that I've done. I'm very determined now. I hope You'll give me another chance and help me to do my job well.

My baby girl turns 5 years old...

Time flies so fast that my baby girl turns 5 years old now...I'm quite busy today but I make it appoint to jot down here the special day of my baby. All I'm wishing is that you'll grow as a beautiful human being both inside and out. That you would grow as a kind lady with a big heart and be respectful to us. Just be a good girl and mama will do everything for you. Even though I'm a single mom and it's truly hard to be one but I'll do everything that I can just to give all the best things that this world has to offer. I'm willing to sacrifice everything just for you my baby....

Always remember that I love you forever..And always bear in mind that I'm not just the only one who really loves you but as well as your lolo, lola, tita and tito...We are always here to support you each step of the way and to protect and comfort you whenever you need us and when you feel that this world has been unfair to you....

Once again we love you so much baby girl and happy, happy birthday to you!!!!!

I did it again...

There was something that happened this week that I do regret why I didn't give my best. For the second time around, I failed again....Yes, I did it again...I never went out of my way just to get in and this sort of thing happened for the second time again..I do have regrets again why I never tried hard just to get in. Sometimes, I really don't understand why I can't be able to remain focus on something. I always say that I need this particular thing but once an opportunity was given to me, I didn't really give my best just to really have it. I lose hope so easily...I get discouraged so easily....I'm not really that strong to face the challenges that may come along my way....I'm just so weak...And now, I have lots of regrets because I know in myself that I could have done better...

Nevertheless, I'm really determined now...I learned a lot from those mistakes that I have done in the past and in present time...I'll promise to myself that this time around, I would really give my best shot..I'm not getting any younger to begin with..And most importantly, I do have a daughter that I really wanted to give a brighter future..Hence, she should be enough reason for me to remain focus and to give my 100% in everything that I do just to ensure that I could give her a brighter future that I badly want to give her...

I should be more stronger now, be more responsible, be more hard working and I should do my job well since it's not just my future that is really at stake here, but most especially the future of my angel....